Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Sky Falls

Woman Blamed
by Arthur King

April 21, 2008 -- BEIJING -- The sky fell in Beijing today after a working mother forgot to hold up her half.

Mrs Lee was doing her laundry, raising three children, writing cards to her husband's relatives, paying bills, and holding down a full-time factory job when the sky fell in.

"I know it was my turn, and I know Mao said that women hold up half the sky," said Mrs Lee while watching a boiling pot and taking scissors from a screaming toddler, "but one of my little un's had to go to the emergency. The other two needed help with their homework, and one of them couldn't get down from the table until she'd eaten her veggies. And I was making dumplings for Sunday. I just forgot."

"Maybe the government should hold the sky up a bit more," she added.

The People's Daily covered the incident under the headline, "Beijing sky clears before Olympics thanks to timely interventions of central committee plebiscite resulting from dialectical Marxist-Leninist revisions of historic Five-Year Plan."

Mrs Lee will be executed on Thursday in the Bird's Nest Olympic Stadium. Her family will pay for the bullet, and her organs will be harvested to prolong the lives of several octogenerians from Florida.

Production is up. Peasants are happy.